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Writer's pictureJen Tostevin

How to Boost Your Self Esteem

Updated: Nov 18



A man sits hunched over on a bench, surrounded by swirling dark clouds, symbolising feelings of inadequacy and self doubt. On the right side, the same man is smiling confidently in casual summer attire, sitting in a bright, sunny environment, symbolising self confidence and personal growth.
The contrasting sides of the emotional journey from low to high self esteem.

Low self esteem is a fascinating and highly relevant topic. But how do we recognise it and can it be measured accurately? Often, individuals describe it as a feeling of inadequacy or a lack of self worth, expressed through thoughts like, “I’m not good enough” or “I don’t like myself.” Low self esteem can stem from many factors, such as negative past experiences, critical remarks, or a sense of not fitting in.


The Role of External Expectations

Our self esteem is frequently shaped by societal pressures, including how we should look, dress and what we should achieve. But who decides these standards? Too often, we seek validation from others before we allow ourselves to feel good about who we are.


The Comparison Trap

One of the biggest challenges to healthy self esteem is comparing ourselves to others. Think about the people you compare yourself to... are they usually those you see as “better” in some way? This might be someone on social media with a seemingly perfect life, someone with a desirable body, or someone who appears to have it all together. Remember, these comparisons typically only reflect external appearances, not the full picture.


Reality Check

It’s vital to remember that everyone has their own struggles and insecurities. We tend to be our own worst critics, constantly focusing on our flaws while forgetting that others have their challenges too. The difference lies in how we handle our inner critic.


Cultivating Self Appreciation

To improve our self esteem, we need to step back and view ourselves within the wider context of humanity, not just in comparison to a few individuals. Acknowledge your achievements and understand that personal growth is a continuous process. We’re all works in progress.



A woman stands in front of a mirror, calmly gazing at her reflection with a slight smile, symbolising self reflection and acceptance. The minimalistic room and soft lighting create a peaceful atmosphere, enhancing the focus on self awareness and personal growth.


Acceptance and Growth

Learning to accept what we can and can’t change is essential for self-esteem. Developing the ability to release what’s beyond our control can be a game-changer. Every one of us has the potential to become the person we aspire to be.


Shifting Your Internal Dialogue

We often underestimate our abilities. By adjusting our perspective and adopting a more positive mindset, we can unlock our potential. It’s important to realise that our external circumstances do not define us.


By embracing life’s uncertainties while staying focused on our goals, we can grow into our best selves.

Managing Thoughts and Feelings

People with higher self esteem don’t necessarily have easier lives. They just manage their internal world differently. Often, the way we handle our thoughts, feelings and behaviours plays a big part in how we navigate life. Learning to manage these internal processes, rather than suppressing them, helps us shift from being stuck in survival mode to driving towards a future we desire.


Take Control of Your Self Esteem Journey

Self esteem is a dynamic part of who we are and it can be nurtured. By understanding its origins, challenging unrealistic standards and learning to manage our internal thoughts and emotions, we can grow into a more confident, empowered version of ourselves. We have the potential to shift from passive passengers in life to active drivers, steering through life’s uncertainties with resilience and purpose.


Ready to take the next step? Visit www.jenesispsychotherapy.com.au to book your free consultation and start your journey towards better health and balance through strategic psychotherapy approaches.




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